


listen, asshole

by ObscureReference



Series: Rarepair Friday Fics [16]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Libraries, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObscureReference/pseuds/ObscureReference
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous said: I noticed you posted that AU thing with prompts, so... NurseyDex for 3i? (Library AU: You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	listen, asshole

Dex had done everything.

He had begged the librarian to tell him the name of the person who had checked out the book. When she refused, he had enlisted Ransom and Holster to help him look on the computer while the librarian was distracted. While they had been ecstatic to pull “a heist,” as they called it, their constant humming of the Mission Impossible theme song had given them away. So that was a bust.

Dex had searched other libraries for copies. He had gone to used bookstores. He had gone to _new_ bookstores. He had staked out the table next to the front desk for five days in hopes whoever had checked out the one copy of the book in the tri-state area would finally return it.

Apparently, whoever had checked it out was enjoying it so much that they were willing to risk overdue charges.

And they had _better_ be enjoying it because Dex was pretty sure that if he found out they had just forgotten they owned it or were too lazy to return it, he was going to scream.

He had all but given up when he had, entirely by chance, been leaving the library and glanced over to see _the fucking book being turned in.  
_

“You have $12.50 in overdue charges,” the librarian said. If she was trying to hide her grimace at all, she was doing a poor job.

Dex didn’t blame her. He wanted to tear out his hair.

Over twelve dollars in overdue charges. It cost fifty cents a day every day you didn’t return a book you checked out, and that was _after_ a free week of keeping it. This asshole had kept the book for a _month._

Said asshole shrugged without a care in the world. “My bad. I’ll pay that now.”

He reached for his wallet, but Dex got there first. He slammed his hand on the counter, crowding the guy’s space, for once not caring about what other people would think when he raised his voice.

“You!” Dex shouted. “You’re an asshole!”

The librarian, already well aware of this feud, covered her smile with her hand and casually left the counter to check out the back room.

Asshole slowly blinked. His face wasn’t bad looking—the opposite, really—but Dex would have enjoyed that a bit more some other time.

“Excuse me?” Asshole said.

A scream of frustration caught itself in Dex’s throat. He pointed at the book lying innocuously on the counter.

“You kept this thing for a month!” he all but shouted. “A month! Didn’t it ever occur to you that other people might want it? Did you even read it? Why the hell would it take a month to finish a book?”

He halfway expected Asshole to back off or start yelling back, but he just shrugged, cool as a cucumber.

“Honestly?” he said. “I forgot about it.”

Dex would bet good money that he hadn’t ever finished reading it. Distaste simmered in his gut. His shoulders slumped.

“You’re the worst,” he said, all the fire gone out of him. He was tired. He wanted the book.

Asshole grinned. “Chill.”

Dex was already “chill,” he was _the most chill ever_ —

“Oh,” Asshole suddenly said, looking at the empty space behind the counter. “She’s gone. I guess I can’t turn this in after all.”

If that was true, Dex really was going to curl up and scream into his pillow for a few hours.

“Tell you what,” Asshole continued. “Since I made you wait, how about I just give you the book now and when you’re done, you just give it back to me?”

So Asshole would pay an even larger overdue charge. Whatever. Dex didn’t expect to take more than a few days, so the extra dollar or two didn’t way heavily on his conscience. It served this guy right for taking so long.

Still, it wasn’t an offer Dex would have made himself. He eyed the stranger suspiciously. “What’s your name?”

“Derek,” Asshole offered.

Derek. Sure, whatever. Derek with the cute face and nice smile and shitty time keeping skills. Derek.

“Why are you offering this?” Dex asked, narrowing his eyes.

Derek looked at him, all easy smiles and relaxed body language.

“So I can see a cutie like you again,” he said.

Dex sputtered. Derek grabbed a pen off the counter and pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket.

“Here,” he said when he was finished scribbling whatever it was on the paper. He dropped the paper in Dex’s hand, and Dex’s fingers curled over it instinctively. “Call me when you’re done. I’ll meet you for coffee or something.”

Dex scrambled for some kind of retort, but by that time Derek had already strolled out of sight. He looked down at the book he held in one hand and the phone number in the other. His face felt hot.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the librarian peer out her office window and giggle.

**Author's Note:**

> http://someobscurereference.tumblr.com/tagged/rarepair-friday-fics


End file.
